I have to say my biggest resentment right now is my former landlord. I could easily deal with her being angry at me. But the fact is she took my things. That was wrong.
I do not claim to hold any moral high ground when it comes to my former landlord. In fact, I was quite a terrible tenant. I left the place a true mess – that’s a fact. The court did formally give her restitution of the contents. But my iPad, my laptop, and all my camera equipment were not in the condo they were in my car.
Her daughter and her grandson took my car. They moved it. It was not parked in their space. The court gave her no right to my car or its contents. Despite that they took my car and moved it to a new parking lot took my Garmin, my camera, my laptop, and my iPad from my car. They also took my emergency kit from the truck. I had really nice jumper cables.
Legally, they stole my car and stole the contents from.
I do ruminate over this. Deep down I know I caused all of it in the end. If I hadn’t been a selfish, self-centered drunk, then none of that what happened. Here is where the difference between disease and moral failing gets me every time.
If I accept that my addiction is really a disease, then how responsible am I really for my actions? I can never truly absolve myself completely from having acted so poorly.
This is something I’m just going to have to ruminate over some more. For now, I am angry with her still.